Dear Charvi
It's been a while since I wrote you a proper letter. I can see why writing letters was a thing. They're sensible, coherent and always around to go back to. And honestly, end-to-end encryption is just not as exciting as a wooden box with tiny lock and a key. Or a lesser known blog link.
Anyway, my mid-twenties are quite like how I imagined them to be when I was a kid, sans the beer. I go to work, come home, watch something, eat something, stare at the sky and fall asleep eventually. Human interaction is kept at a strictly need basis. My "Happy Room" isn't exactly the enormous basement space I wanted, but I have a drawer that could possibly grow into that a couple of years down the line. I like my company (not the body incorporated as per Companies Act. The company-of-a-person company.) But I am still working on liking myself. To be honest, my greatest fear still remains. I fear that in some 20 years I will regret my actions and my choices, and above all, I will regret being the person that I am. There are times, truly still, when Kat from 10 Things I Hate About you takes over Sandra Bullock from Two Weeks Notice. I am not sure I want to continue being either. Sigh. Is reconciliation even possible? Is it even desirable? Isn't that a personality trait ? (Jung wouldn't agree to that)
As you can see, my mental voice has been at liberty to talk unchecked. The credit goes to my average work day. About 80% of the things I do in the 12 hours I spend in office do not demand actual attention and that includes socializing. Most people have given up on drawing my attention to the lunch table conversation. I sometimes think I should work on that, but I just don't want to. Humbug! Another outcome of my work life is my ardent dislike for words like "urgent" and "process". On the plus side I learnt some new words (like facsimile). But I should not complain. I wanted this. I was certain I did not want a law firm job or to practice in court. It just worries me that I will always end up not liking what it is I do once I start it. Commitment issues. Maybe I should increase my social media time at work, you know, to keep occupied.
In other news I accidentally ate stale gajjar ka halwa for dinner. I had it in my fridge for about 2 weeks from when mom came to visit, allowing myself only very small portions at a time, until today. It was only when I was nearing the last bit that the cold of the fridge wore off and that repulsive taste filled my mouth. I'm afraid of waking up with stomach infection again. It is true. The things you love the most are the things that end up killing you.
Always on your team. Go Team V!
Love
A(u)nty
It's been a while since I wrote you a proper letter. I can see why writing letters was a thing. They're sensible, coherent and always around to go back to. And honestly, end-to-end encryption is just not as exciting as a wooden box with tiny lock and a key. Or a lesser known blog link.
Anyway, my mid-twenties are quite like how I imagined them to be when I was a kid, sans the beer. I go to work, come home, watch something, eat something, stare at the sky and fall asleep eventually. Human interaction is kept at a strictly need basis. My "Happy Room" isn't exactly the enormous basement space I wanted, but I have a drawer that could possibly grow into that a couple of years down the line. I like my company (not the body incorporated as per Companies Act. The company-of-a-person company.) But I am still working on liking myself. To be honest, my greatest fear still remains. I fear that in some 20 years I will regret my actions and my choices, and above all, I will regret being the person that I am. There are times, truly still, when Kat from 10 Things I Hate About you takes over Sandra Bullock from Two Weeks Notice. I am not sure I want to continue being either. Sigh. Is reconciliation even possible? Is it even desirable? Isn't that a personality trait ? (Jung wouldn't agree to that)
As you can see, my mental voice has been at liberty to talk unchecked. The credit goes to my average work day. About 80% of the things I do in the 12 hours I spend in office do not demand actual attention and that includes socializing. Most people have given up on drawing my attention to the lunch table conversation. I sometimes think I should work on that, but I just don't want to. Humbug! Another outcome of my work life is my ardent dislike for words like "urgent" and "process". On the plus side I learnt some new words (like facsimile). But I should not complain. I wanted this. I was certain I did not want a law firm job or to practice in court. It just worries me that I will always end up not liking what it is I do once I start it. Commitment issues. Maybe I should increase my social media time at work, you know, to keep occupied.
In other news I accidentally ate stale gajjar ka halwa for dinner. I had it in my fridge for about 2 weeks from when mom came to visit, allowing myself only very small portions at a time, until today. It was only when I was nearing the last bit that the cold of the fridge wore off and that repulsive taste filled my mouth. I'm afraid of waking up with stomach infection again. It is true. The things you love the most are the things that end up killing you.
Always on your team. Go Team V!
Love
A(u)nty
